100+ Adult Jokes

100+ Adult Jokes

Medical College Professor to a girl student…

Medical College Professor to a girl student:
“Which human body part expands 5 times then its normal size…?”
Girl Student : “Sir I can’t answer this question,
it’s too embarrassing…

Professor asked the same question to a Male Student.
Male Student : “It’s the Pupil of an human eye…”
Professor : “Correct”

Then Professor turned to the female student and said :
“Listen lady, Not only your thinking is wrong
but your expectations are also very high…
5 times is too much”.. !!


Adult Questions And Answers…

Adult Questions & Answers:
———————————-
Q: What’s the difference between cricketers and condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops.
———————————-
Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass.
———————————-
Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman’s underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.
———————————-
Q: Why do men ask for a woman’s hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.
———————————
Q: What’s common between men and video?
A: Both go backward… Forward… Backward… Forward… Backward….
Forward… Stop and eject.
——————————–
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn’t come means you are screwed.
———————————-
Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag
———————————-
Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.
———————————
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.


Baba Sex ki Goli Bech Raha Tha…

Baba Sex ki Goli Bech Raha Tha
1 Goli Lega 1 Feet Lamba
2 Goli Lega 2 Feet Lamba
SARDAR Baba 10 Goli Lu To?

BABA madarchod
Ladki Chodega Ya Borewell khodega.


Ab Bhumi-Pujan bhi karoge ya mazdoor bulaun…

Suhag raat mein.
BUILDER: Tere hoth Duplex jaise hain,
Figure Landscape Garden ki tarah hai.
WIFE: Ab Bhumi-Pujan bhi karoge ya mazdoor bulaun.


To baba ye lund aap hi rakh lo…

BABA RAMDEV: beta apne se badi nari ko Maa,
Barabar wali ko Bahan
or choti ko beti mana karo.

BHAKT : To baba ye lund aap hi rakh lo
Jadi Buti kootne ke kam ayega !!


Aaj sex ho jaye…

Husband apne sasural me biwi se: aaj sex ho jaye..

Biwi: Nahi hum papa ke ghar hai..

Hus : To kya mere BAAP ka ghar
Randikhana hai jo roz taiyar ho jati hai..!!


Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi…

Viagra ki 5 goli khakar
2 ghante tak girlfriend ke saath karne ke baad…

Santa bola: “Ab tum 3 ghante mujhe dekh nahi paogi”

GF: “Kyun? Kahin ja rahe ho kya?”

Santa: “Nahi janu, Ab palat jao”


Kripa wahi se aa rahi hai…

Bhakt, Nirmal baba se bola –
Baba har saal bachha paida ho jaata hai,
kya karu?

Baba-Condom use karte Ho.

Bhakt- karta Hu.

Baba-Condom mohalle me baant do, kripa wahi se aa rahi hai.


You Will look like a new-born…

A middle-aged lady,
in short clothes, to Santa in office,
“Am I looking young in this new outfit?”
Santa: Take this also off,
you Will look like a new-born!


A journalist to Osho…

A journalist to Osho :
Do You know what all men and women are Doing in your Ashram?
Osho: Mere ko kya?
Journalist: Lekin ye to Aapka Ashram hai.
Osho:Fir bhosdike tere ko kya.


Nursery Rhyme in 2020…

Message – Nursery Rhyme in 2020:
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To have lots of sex n thrill
Jack fucked Jill and Broke her seal,
And Jill came down Shouting
i-pill i-pill


Saala aaj tak samajh ni aaya…

Saala aaj tak samajh ni aaya
Ek poora din Shoes aur Socks pehno to pair gore ho jaate
.
.
.
Par sala janam se chaddi pehni lekin,
USTAAD kaale ke kaale.. !!


Why Underwear is Named As Langoti in Hindi?

TEACHER-Why Underwear is Named As Langoti in Hindi?
SARDAR-Because It Takes Care Of 1 Lund & 2 GOTI.
So it called langoti !!


Secret of long life…

Secret of long life…
Morning two eggs,
evening two pegs….
and
night between two legs!!


Tarzan removed his clothes…

Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan removed his clothes.
All the animals laughed.

Tarzan asked “Why”?
The animals told him…..
“Your tail is in the front”


7 qualities of a perfect wife…

7 qualities of a perfect wife:
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful and
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T. S


Why Do Men Wear Underwear…

Questions: “Why Do Men Wear Underwear?”
Answer: “As Per Military Rules,
All Types Of Weapons Should Be Kept Covered During Peace Time“


Sexy Husband Jumps On bed in nude Position…

Sexy Husband Jumps On bed in nude Position . . .
Wife: I have fever . . .
Husband : I know that,
So i have powdered my penis with Crocin
Now you decide,
You want to take it orally or as AN injection . .!!


Nipple Nipple Little Star…

Nipple Nipple Little Star
Can I fuck you in My Car
Up above Your Boobs So High
Always milky Never dry
Let Me Press it
Don’t feel Shy
Open your Panty Let Me Try !!


Fuck Originally Means…

STRANGE BUT TRUE:-
In Ancient Times,
In England Before People Having Sex,
They Needed Special Permission from the King.
People Who Got Permission Used To Hang A Playcard
On Their Door Which Said:
Fornication
Under
Consent Of
King?
That’s F. U. C. K. For Short.
Now You Know Where That Word Came From..?


Let’s make a phone call…

Couple agreed that
whenever they want to have sex
they will say-
“Let’s make a phone call”

1 day The man sent his son to tel mom
while she was busy in kitchen.
Son: Mom, dad is asking you to come
so he can make a phone call.
Mom: Go tel im out of coverage area.
Dad: Go tell your mom that
if she cant come i will make the cal elsewhere.
Mom: Go tell your dad
if he does that i will open a call center here.


F. U. C. K. Means…

STRANGE BUT TRUE:-
In Ancient Times,
In England Before People Havin Sex,
They Needed SpeciaL Permission From the King.
People Who Got Permission Used To Hang
A Playcard On Their Door Which Said:
Fornication
Under
Consent Of
King?
Thats F. U. C. K. For Short.
Now you Know Where That Word Came From..?


A girl and boy were siting alone…

A girl and boy were siting alone,
Boy started touching the girl
girl: don’t touch me. all thing only after marriage

boy: ok ! call me when you are married !


Nipple Nipple don’t be far…

Nipple Nipple don’t be far,
can I press you in my car.
Up above the chest so high,
Always milky never dry.
Let me suck you,
Don’t feel shy.


Let me take a picture of your breasts…

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts,
than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

By | 2017-11-15T08:24:24+00:00 October 3rd, 2016|Categories: Adult|