Funny SMS


When a Guy does Something Wrong…

When a Guy does Something Wrong…

Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp !!!
Boy : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Girl : I can’t believe you did this.
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/

When a Girl does Something Wrong…

Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Boy : I can’t believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!! Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/


I always forget your birthday…

I always forget your birthday
and it’s not my memory that makes me to,
it’s the plastic surgeon of yours.


Priya Gold Biscuit…

Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai


A pizza and an apple were thrown…

A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor.
Which will reach down first?
.
.
Ans: The Pizza,as it’s fast food.!!


According to a research…

According to a research
87% of young people have
back pain.
.
The other 13% have no
computer.!!


Your mother-in-law fell into my pond…

A Man: “your mother-in-law fell into my pond
Which has some crocodiles into”.
The other man – “the crocodiles are yours,
So you will have to save them”.!!


I am Looking for a Bank…

I am Looking for a Bank
which can perform Two things for me.

Give me a Loan,
and
then Leave me Alone.!!


My Hands Never Have Pain…

My Hands Never Have Pain
When Typing SMS For You,
But My Heart Always
In Pain When There Is No Reply For Me.!!


Question by a student…

Question by a student !!
If a single teacher can’t
teach us all the subjects,
Then…
How could you expect a single student
to learn all subjects ?.!!


I Saw It With My Eyes…

I Saw It With My Eyes But Couldn’t Understand It
Took It In My Hands, But Couldn’t Understand It
Keep Thinking For A Long Time, But Again Couldn’t Understand It
It was Not A Dream,
It was Is Not A Love,
It was Not Even Friendship,

Then I Realized: “It Was Question Paper”.!!


Most people have 5 senses…

Most people have 5 senses.
Some people have 6 senses.
But you are blessed with 7 senses.

An extra sense is NON SENSE.!!


Postman: I have to come 5 miles…

Postman: I have to come 5 miles
to deliver you this packet.
Santa: Why did you come so far?.
Instead You could have posted it..!!


There will be a lecture on Sun…

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far.!!


Husband wanted to call the hospital…

Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidentally called the cricket stadium.

He asks, “How’s the situation?”

He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.

They said, “It’s fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!”.!!


Fact about women…

Fact about women:
They can see a hair of a girl
on their husband’s coat from 20 meters,
but can’t see a pillar from 2 meters
while parking a car.!!


Sweet candies are nice to eat…

Sweet candies are nice to eat …
Sweet words are easy to say …
but, sweet people are hard to find …
OH MY GOD! how did you find me?.!!


The more I learn…

The more I learn the more I get to know,
the more I know the more I forget,
the more I forget the less I know,
so why should I be learning?.!!


Girl on Valentine Day in Card Shop…

Girl on Valentine Day in Card Shop.
Owner: yes madam
Girl: 1 card jispar likha ho mai sirf tumse pyr karti hu, kya hai aapke paas?
Owner: Ha he
Girl: 12 Dedo.!!


From Mon to Sun…

From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u
have never changed.

For me, you’ve always been…
a headache.!!


One heart that would always…

Today, tomorrow and yesterday there will be …
one heart that would always beat for you …
You know Whose??? … your Own Stupid.!!


What is an idiot…

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange
and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him.

Do you understand me?
Son: No.


I will die…

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:- because I can’t bear that much happiness.!!


God made our body parts for a reason…

God made our body parts for a reason.
Eyes: to look at you
Hands: to pray for you
Mind: to remember you
Heart: to miss you
and…
Legs: to kick you if u ever forget me!!


I have lots of jokes in my inbox…

I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can’t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I’m sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
“You are so beautiful”.!!


Friends are like fishes…

Friends are like fishes,
You have to sit patiently for long time to catch a good one..
just like i caught You
so better stay nice otherwise fishes can be fried too.!!


Money comes and goes…

Money comes and goes,
Friends come and go,
Rain comes and goes,
Love comes and goes,
But if you loose your teeth at this age,
they will never come back.
So better message me everyday.!


Colgate se daant saaf karne ka…

Colgate se daant saaf karne ka
Pepsodent se majboot karne ka
Babool se fresh karne ka
Agar fir bhi safed nahi huye to
Bindass HARPIC use karne ka.!!


Azadi k din par meri dua hai ki…

Azadi k din par meri dua hai ki
ALLAH ap ko Quaid ki akal,
Iqbal ki shakal,
Liaqat ki sherwani,
Fatima ki jawani,
Nehru ki chal or
Gandhi ji k baal de
Happy Independence Day.!!


Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha…

Teacher- Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha?
Pappu-NEIL ARMSTRONG.
Teacher- Aur doosra??

Pappu- doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga …
Langdi khelne thodi gaya tha woh!!!


Rocking Generation…

Rocking Generation…

“Kid fails in Exam”

Father: Aaj Se Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna…!

Son: Oh, come On Dad,
It Was
Just A ‘School Test’
Not A “DNA” Test… !!


You can trust lawyers…

Two well dressed lawyers went to an expensive restaurant…

Ordered 2 drinks and then got sandwiches from their briefcases
and began to eat them…

Waitress: Sorry Sir !!
But you can’t eat your OWN food here…

Its against the rules …
The lawyers quietly looked at each other
and
EXCHANGED their sandwiches
And continued their meals !!!

PS: You can trust lawyers to find loopholes in any rules !!


Some people believe in God…

Some people believe in God,
I believe in music.
Some people pray,
I turn up the radio.


Anybody driving slower than you is an idiot…

Have you ever noticed that
anybody driving slower than you is an idiot,
And
Anyone going faster than you is a maniac?


The floor just hates me…

I’m not clumsy!
The floor just hates me,
The table and chairs are bullies,
and
The walls get in my way.


The ideal man doesn’t smoke…

The ideal man doesn’t smoke,
doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs,
doesn’t swear, doesn’t get angry, doesn’t exist.


If you didn’t see it with your own eyes…

If you didn’t see it with your own eyes,
or hear it with your own ears,
don’t invent it with your small mind
and share it with your big mouth!


A good speech should be like…

A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt:
long enough to cover the subject
and short enough to create interest.


Today I saw something…

Today I saw something
through a store window that was truly stunning
beautiful and sexy.
I wanted to get it for you,
but then I realized it’s my own reflection!


He doesn’t hire stupid people…

When my boss asked me
who is the stupid one, me or him?
I told him everyone knows
he doesn’t hire stupid people.


A stupid person laughs three times at a joke…

A stupid person laughs three times at a joke;

once when everyone else is laughing,
A second time when he actually gets the joke,
And
A third time when he realizes he was laughing
without getting the joke at first.


You can trust your dog…

You can trust your dog
to guard your house
but
Never trust your dog
to guard your sandwich.


Girls are like phones…

Girls are like phones.
We love to be held and talked to,
but if you press the wrong button
you’ll be disconnected !!


People see me at the supermarket…

I hate it when
people see me at the supermarket
and they are like ‘Hey, what are you doing here?’
I tell them ‘You know.. hunting elephants.’


I always try to cheer myself up…

I always try to cheer myself up
by singing when I get sad.
Most of the time,
it turns out that my voice is
worse than my problems.


Some people walk into our lives…

Some people walk into our lives
and leave footprints on our hearts.
Others walk into our lives
and
we want to leave footprints on their face!


Can we please change the subject…

The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’,
the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’,
The walnut says ‘I look like a brain’,
and
The banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’


Love is more important than money…

They say that love is more important than money,
but have you ever tried
to pay your bills with a hug?


I know the voices in my head aren’t real…

I know the voices in my head aren’t real…
but
Sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!


I’m tired of solving them for you…

Dear Math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems,
I’m tired of solving them for you.


What Is the True Meaning Of Study…

What Is the True Meaning Of Study ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
S. Sleeping
T. Talking
U. Unlimited Tafreh
D. Dreaming
Y. Yawning


Most CUTE persons in the world…

You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!

Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..


You are Attractive…

A – You are Attractive
B – You are the Best
C -You are Cute
D -You are Dear 2 Me
E – You are Excellent
F – You are Funny
G -You are Good-Looking
H – hehehe
I – I’m
J – JOKING


When things go wrong…

When things go wrong
When sadness fills your heart
When tears flow in your eyes

Always remember 3 things
1) I am with you
2) You have money
3) Bar is open, Lets go. !!


Education is An organised system…

What is Education ?
Education is An organised system
through which We waste 1 half of our life
2 learn how 2 waste the remaining half of our Life.


Most confusing day in America…

Which is the most confusing day in America?

Thinking?

Still thinking?

Fathers day!


The true lines on the T-shirt of an employee…

The true lines on the T-shirt of an employee:
.
..
“I work only for MONEY.
If you want loyalty, Hire a DOG.”


Are You Free Sunday Evening?…

Boss: Hey Tina (His Secretary)
Are You Free Sunday Evening???
Tina: Yes Absolutely!!!
Boss: Good Then…..
Come Early To Office On Monday Morning!!!


Why did you leave your last job…

Boss:(asking the applicant)Why did you leave your last job?
Applicant:Illness.
Boss:What was the trouble?
Applicant:My boss was sick of me!


Your friendship means so much to me that…

Your friendship means so much to me that…
When you cry…
I cry.
When you laugh…
I laugh.
When you jump out a window…
I laugh some more…


SILENCE is the Best…

SILENCE is the Best Answer For All Questions
And
SMILE is the Best Reaction In All Situations
Unfortunately
Both Never Help In
Interview & Viva!


If you have something…

If you have something to say,
please raise your hand and put it over your mouth!


Brains aren’t everything…

Brains aren’t everything.
In fact in your case they’re nothing.