Absence Is The Best Presence…

Absence Is The Best Presence.
Because
If Somebody Is Absent
Then You Miss Them
And
If You Miss Them
That Means
They Are Present In Your Heart…


I Will Love The Light For It Shows Me The Way…

I Will Love The Light For It Shows Me The Way,
Yet I Will Endure The Darkness
Because It Shows Me The Stars…


If You Really Want To Give Someone A Gift…

“If You Really Want To Give Someone A Gift,
Then Try Giving Them Your Time & Attention!!”
A Loving Heart Doesn’t Expect Anything More Than That…


If You Wish To Appear Agreeable In Society…

If You Wish To Appear Agreeable In Society,
You Must Consent To Be Taught Many Things
Which You Know Already.


Some Single Mind Must Be Master…

Some Single Mind Must Be Master,
Else There Will Be No Agreement In Anything.


Always Think Thoughts That Are Productive…

Always Think Thoughts That Are Productive And Positive.
For The Law Of Attraction Possesses
Your Key To Either Endless Misery
And Woe Or To An Abundance
You Never Knew Could Be Achievable.


A Role Model Is A Person…

A Role Model Is A Person
Whose Roles Can Be Modeled.
If The Roles You Conceive
And Give Birth To Today Cannot Be Adopted
By Anyone In Your Absence,
You Are No Good Model.


The Unhappy Person Is The One…

The Unhappy Person Is The One
Who Leaves Undone
What They Can Do,
And Starts Doing
What They Don’t Understand;
No Wonder They Come To Grief.


I Was Doing Something…

I Was Doing Something
I’d Never Done Before.
And
What Will I Be Able To Do Tomorrow
That I Cannot Yet Do Today?


I Had Learned Early To Assume Something Dark…

“I Had Learned Early To Assume Something Dark
And Lethal Hidden At The Heart Of Anything I Loved.
When I Couldn’t Find It, I Responded,
Bewildered And Wary, In The Only Way I Knew How:
By Planting It There Myself.”


We Cast A Shadow On…

“We Cast A Shadow On Something Wherever We Stand,
And It Is No Good Moving From Place To Place To Save Things;
Because The Shadow Always Follows.
Choose A Place Where You Won’t Do Harm – Yes,
Choose A Place Where You Won’t Do Harm Very Much,
And Stand In It For All You Are Worth, Facing The Sunshine.”


When You Walk To The Edge Of All The Light…

“When You Walk To The Edge Of All The Light
You Have And Take That First Step Into
The Darkness Of The Unknown,
You Must Believe That One Of Two Things Will Happen.
There Will Be Something Solid For You To Stand Upon
Or You Will Be Taught To Fly.”


I Do Not Speak As I Think…

“I Do Not Speak As I Think,
I Do Not Think As I Should,
And So, It All Goes On In Helpless Darkness.”


Everyone Is A Moon…

“Everyone Is A Moon,
And Has A Dark Side
Which He Never Shows To Anybody.”


Angels Are Like Diamonds…

“Angels Are Like Diamonds;
Each One Is Unique And Cannot Be Created,
But Can Only Be Found.”


The Secret Of Life Is Honesty And Fair Dealing…

The Secret Of Life Is Honesty And Fair Dealing.
If You Can Fake That, You’ve Got It Made.


He Should In Humility Have Asked Her…

“He Should In Humility Have Asked Her
Why It Was That He Was Naturally A Cuckold,
Why Two Women Of Different Temperaments
And Characters Had Been Inspired To Have Lovers At His Expense.
He Should Be Telling Her, With The Warmth Of Her Body Warming His,
That His Second Wife Had Confessed To Greater Sexual Pleasure
When She Remembered That She Was Deceiving Him.”


You Talked Over The Tour Guide…

“You Talked Over The Tour Guide
Who Pointed To Houses And Windows.
Showing Us Where People Had Lived
And Died And Other People Now Stayed In Their Place.
Just Like A Broken Heart.”


A Love Affair Is Like A Short Story…

“A Love Affair Is Like A Short Story-
-It Has A Beginning, A Middle, And An End.
The Beginning Was Easy,
The Middle Might Drag, Invaded By Commonplace,
But The End, Instead Of Being Decisive
And Well-Knit With That Element Of Regulatory
Surprise As A Well-Written Story Should Be,
It Usually Dissipated In A Succession Of Messy
And Humiliating Anticlimaxes.”


Never Speak About Private Affairs…

“Never Speak About
Private Affairs For The Public To Hear.”


We Opened Our Eyes At The Exact Same Time…

“In The Morning, That Moment,
When I Knew It Was You?
When I Could Feel You Breathing
And
We Opened Our Eyes At The Exact Same Time.”


It’s Not Very Flattering To Her…

“She Says It’s Not Very Flattering To Her
That The Women
Who Fall In Love With Her Husband
Are So Uncommonly Second-Rate.”


We Were Hooked When We Woke…

“We Were Hooked When We Woke.
We Had Arms For Each Other.
But I Yearned To Resume
My Dreams Of Another.”


Women Writers Make For Rewarding…

“Women Writers Make For Rewarding (And Efficient) Lovers.
They Are Clever Liars To Fathers And Husbands;
Yet They Never Hold Their Tongues Too Long,
Nor Keep Ardent Typing Fingers Still.”


Some People Know That They Are So Adorable Looking…

Some People Know That They Are So Adorable Looking,
All They Must Do Is Smile
And Dress Up And They Get Plenty From That.
Then There Are Some Of Us Who, Early On,
See That That Doesn’t Work. So, We Joke About It.


The Desire To Love Someone…

“The Desire To Love Someone
Always Exceeds The Desire To Be Loved
By Someone & That’s Exactly
Why We End Up Loving The Person
Who Doesn’t Deserve That LOVE.”


How Can I Be Reasonable…?

“How Can I Be Reasonable?
To Me Our Love Was Everything
And You Were My Whole Life.
It Is Not Very Pleasant To Realize
That To You It Was Only An Episode.”


Don’t Leave A Piece Of Jewelry At His House…

“Don’t Leave A Piece Of Jewelry At His House
So, You Can Go Back And Get It Later;
He May Be With His Real Girlfriend.”


My Mother Was Adorable, A Great Giggler…

My Mother Was Adorable, A Great Giggler.
My Father Was Very h2 And Could Be Quite Frightening.


Successive Generations Of Middle-Class Parents…

Successive Generations Of Middle-Class Parents Used To Foist Their Own Favorite Books On Their Children.
But Sometime In The Late Eighties It Began To Wane – Not
Because Children Had Lost Interest In Adorable Animals
But
Because Most Of It Was Available On Useful, Pacifying Video.


As A Kid It’s Adorable…

As A Kid It’s Adorable To Have A Gap In Your Teeth.
But Then,
Because Of The Shifting In My Mouth,
I Started Whistling Through It,
And As A 32-Year-Old Woman,
Whistling While You Speak In Sort Of Annoying.


I Can’t Get Mad At Him…

He’s A Very Strange Guy, My Father.
I Can’t Get Mad At Him Because He’s So Adorable.


Fat People Are Adorable…

Thin People Are Beautiful,
But Fat People Are Adorable.


I Don’t Want To Have To Be Pretty…

I Don’t Want To Have To Be Pretty.
I Don’t Want To Have To Be Adorable.


I Hated The Naked Chef…

I Hated The Naked Chef.
Fine, Yes,
He Did Good Things For School Food Or Whatever,
But, You Know,
I Don’t Want My Chefs To Be Cute And Adorable.


My Generation Was Not Only Maligned In Book Reviews…

My Generation Was Not Only Maligned In Book Reviews
And Attacked In Graduate School
But We Lived To See Our Adored And
Adorable Daughters Wonder Why Feminism Had Become A Dirty Word.


I’m Healthy…

I’m Healthy,
Have A Loving And Adorable Family,
Great Hunting Dogs,
A Gravity Defying Musical Career And Most Importantly,
Fuzzy-Headed Idiots Hate Me.


I’m Tired Of All This Nonsense…

I’m Tired Of All This Nonsense
About Beauty Being Skin Deep.
That’s Deep Enough.
What Do You Want,
An Adorable Pancreas.


When Grace Is Joined With Wrinkles…

When Grace Is Joined With Wrinkles, It Is Adorable.
There Is An Unspeakable Dawn In Happy Old Age.


Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit…

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profit
Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production
Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion
Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime
We Are The 1st Option!


One Can Pay Back The Loan Of Gold…

One Can Pay Back The Loan Of Gold,
But One Dies Forever In Debt To Those Who Are Kind.
You Are One Such Person For Me. Happy Boss Day!


Employee And Boss…

Employee: I Want A Raise In My Salary,
I Am In Demand & Have Two Companies Running After Me!
Boss: Oh! I Am Really Impressed But Which Companies, Are They?
Employee Slowly: The Electric & The Telephone Company.