When your Wife or your Boss says…
“Correct Me if I am Wrong”…
Just Smile And Agree…
Do not start Correcting…
Its a Trap !! 🙂
All Husbands are like Bluetooth….
Always connected when wife is around…
The moment wife is Away,
They Automatically start searching for the new Devices.. !!
A recently fired
stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
I still have my wife…”
A man was asked to explain dis saying:
Sorrow is our constant companion,
Happiness comes and goes.
My Wife is always with me.
Her friends comes and goes ;->
Wife- If I Dismiss The Cook
‘n Make Food Myself For A Month,
What Will You Pay Me..?
Husband- I Won’t Have To Pay You,
You’ll Get My Entire Insurance Amount.. !:)
When you tell Your Wife that
You saw a Lady on the Street who looked exactly Like Her
She Asks “WAS SHE HOT?
You can’t say NO or Yes…..
Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer and peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
Early to bed and early to rise,
Proves man has no interest in his Wife.
One million copies of a new book sold
In just 2 days due to typing error of 1 alphabet in title.
“An idea,that can change your WIFE”
While real word was(LIFE).
Man to a Friend:I gifted my wife a Diamond Necklace n
She did not Speak to Me for a Month.
Friend: Y? That’s very Foolish of Her.
Man: Well that Was THE DEAL.
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second
Judge : Why did you shoot your wife
instead of shootingher lover?
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.
The most effective
way 2 remember
your wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.
When a man steals your wife
there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked ”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”
A guy was praying passionately,
Oh my God ! Turn me into a lizard
A man asked,
Why do u pray so?
He answered,My wife dreads lizards.
What is the Difference Between a Wife and a Terrorist?
“You can Negotiate with the Terrorist…
Do you know the difference between
a wife anD a Girl friend?
Wife is like a Demand Draft
trust worthy all the time,
The Girl friend is like a cheque,
which may bounce at any time.
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha…
Difference between Friend and Wife
You can Tell your Friend
“You are my Best Friend”
Do you have courage tell to your Wife
“You are My Best Wife?”
Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.
Men Want 3 Qualities in Wife:
1)Economist in Kitchen
2)Artist in Home
3)Devil in Love.
But they Get:
1)Artist in Kitchen
2)Devil in Home
3)Economist in Love.
Question: Why do women live longer than men?
Answer: Because shopping never causes heart attacks,
but paying the bills does!
In a Bar,
A man attended a phone-call:
Hello! Yes Honey.
Wife: Darling, I’am in a shopping mall. Shall I buy Jewellery worth Rs. 1 LAKH?
Man: Sure Honey.
Wife: 1 Silk-Saree worth Rs. 20000 dear, shall I?
Man: One saree not enough honey, take 1 more.
Wife: Ok dear, I have your credit-card. Shall I use now?
Man: Sure, with pleasure.
All friends asked him after he put down his mobile: U love ur wife dis much?
Man: “EXCUSE ME, WHO’s MOBILE IS THIS”?.
Wife : Had Your Lunch.?
Husband : Had Your lunch.?
Wife : i am asking you
Husband : i am asking you
Wife : you copying me.?
Husband : you copying me?
Wife : lets go for shopping
Husband :Yes!! I had my lunch!
Santa: Meri wife mujhe naukar samajhne lagi hai
batao main kya karun?
Banta: Karna kya hai,
2-4 ghar aur pakad aur apna dhandha jama le.
Wife: I am Pregnant.
Santa: Par main to england me tha
Wife: Aapki photo thi na
Santa: Ullu mat bana kamini photo to kamar tak hi thi..
Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway steation drop krne gaya tha.
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya :*
Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!
Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?
Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!
Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?
Man: is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: get married
man: will it help?
Doc: no, but it will avoid such thoughts
Position of a husband is just like a Split AC…
No matter how loud he is outdoor,
He is designed to remain silent indoor!
Husband: can you be the moon of my life?
Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!
What is the best example of
‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity?
A Mosquito lands on your wife’s face,
& you get the rarest opportunity of your life..
Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :d
A man was walking in rain
A sweet lady: Why don’t you share my umbrella ?
Man: no sister its fine (And he walked away)
Moral: Moral voral kuch nahi Piche biwi aa rahi thi
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for there anniversary
and then his wife didn’t speak to him for 6 months.
Was the neclace fake?
No. that was deal..!! :’D 😀
A million thanks
to the man of my dreams!
I love our family
with you is full of happiness and blessings.
Thank you so much
for doing your best
just to make us happy
and to support us in all our needs.