Adult SMS

Before the examination…

Before the examination,
Scott asked the doctor
if they ever laughed at their patients’ problems.
The Doctor replied ‘Of course I won’t laugh,
I’m a professional.
In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.
‘Okay then,’ Scott said,
and proceeded to drop his trousers,
revealing the tiniest ‘whoo-ha’ the doctor had ever seen. It […]

Ladki Fish pot ko dekh kar boli…

Ladki Fish pot ko dekh kar boli:
Haye.. Ye machaliya itni sundar q hoti hai..??
Ladka: kyu ki wo KAPDE nahi pehanti..!!

How many kinds of boobs are here…

On dinner, Son asks father: How many kinds of boobs r here?
DAD: 3 kinds,
In 20s like oranges, round n firm.
In 30-40 like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50 like onions, u see them nd they make you cry.

A boy & girl go for shopping…

A boy & girl go for shopping.
Girl- (jokingly)- you have nothing in your head
then why are you buying a helmet?

Boy- Yesterday you purchased a bra,
did i ask you anything..?

How fast can you guess the words…

How fast can you guess the words?
1.BOO_S
2._ _NDOM
3.F_ _ K
4.P_ N_S
5.PU_S_
6.S_X
Ans
1.BOOKS
2.RANDOM
3.FORK
4.PANTS
5.PULSE
6.SIX
You Got ALL 6 Wrong Didn’t You?

Sex at my place…

Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yeah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a
bunk bed with my
younger brother and he
thinks we’re making
sandwiches so this is the
code.
Cheese= Faster.
Tomato= Harder.

Girl: OK?

~Later~

Girl: CHEESE CHEESE TOMATO CHEESE!

Brother: Stop making sandwiches!
You’re getting mayo all over my bed!

That son of a Bitch…

Girl : “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”

Priest : “What have you done my child?”

Girl : “I called a man a son of a bitch.”

Priest : “Why did you call him a son of a
bitch?”

Girl : “Because he touched my hand.”

Priest : “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)

Girl : “Yes father.”

Priest : “That’s no reason to call a man a son
of a bitch.”

Girl : “Then he touched my breast.”

Priest : “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)

Girl : “Yes father.”

Priest : “That’s no reason to call him a son of a
bitch.”

Girl : “Then he took off my clothes, father.”

Priest : “Like this?” (as he takes off her
clothes)

Girl : “Yes father.”

Priest : “That’s no reason to call him a son of a
bitch.”

Girl : “Then he stuck his you know what into
my you know where.”

Priest : “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know
what into her you know where)
Girl : “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES
FATHER!!!”

(after a few minutes)

Priest : “That’s no reason to call him a son of a
bitch.”

Girl : “But father,he had AIDS!”

Priest : “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”

90% Purane Din Yaad Aa Gaye…

Suhag Raat Ki Rat Ko Apni Wife Se Sex
Karne Ke Bad Pati Ne Apni Patni Se
Puchha Ki Tune Kya Mehsoos Kiya
Toh Patni Boli
5% Sharam,
5% Dard Or
90% Purane Din Yaad Aa Gaye !!

The most difficult golf course in the world is…

The most difficult golf course in the world is..
“Women Hole” any style you play…
as many shots you try..
And as much perfection you have..
you can never get your balls in…!!!

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer…

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby‘s father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe

I am also lesbian…

Sardar: Will you marry me?
Girl: Sorry I am a lesbian.
Sardar: What’s a lesbian?
Girl: I like to sleep with girls.
Sardar: Give me a hand… I am also lesbian.

I like the soft thing behind your BRA…

Boy: “I like the soft thing behind your BRA“

Girl: “What“

Boy: “your Heart“

Girl: “I Love the Big thing between your 2 legs“

Boy: “What“

Girl: “your Bike“ ;->

Its get longer as u hold it…

A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
and pass between woman’s breast
and enters into a small hole
What is it?

Answer: Cars seat belt…you dirty mind !!

God bless your naughty mind…

It’s the thing that satisfies
your mind, body and soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless your naughty mind.

In a party a lady wanted to go to Toilet…

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied you naughty pehle tum dikhao.

Santa won an English quiz…

Santa won an English quiz
by writing the opposite word of Manchester United

Guess What he has written?.

Woman chest are Divided.. !

I had Sex with only 4 boys in my entire life…

Woman: I had Sex with only 4 boys in my entire life
& You had it with 16 Girls,
still, Everybody Calls me a SLUT
And
Call You a REAL MAN,
A Winner?
Why?

Man: It’s because,
when a Lock is Opened by many Keys,
it Becomes a BAD LOCK.
But when a Key Opens many Locks,
it becomes a MASTER KEY..;-);-)

Men will always be MEN…

A guy had to choose a wife from 3 girls.
He gave each some money to test them.
1st get a makeover to look good. the man got impressed.
2nd bought cloths for the guy
and told him it’s he who is prime for her. He liked her also.
3rd invested the money n made profit ‘n gave it back.
The guy liked her too.
And finally when the time came to choose…
The guy simply chose the girl with The biggest boobs.
Men will always be MEN!!

Boy goes to a chemist…

Boy goes to a chemist- “Give me a condom. I’am going to my gf’s house for dinner.

Then he says “Give me to more.
My gf’s sis is a bomb ‘n her mom is still hot.”

During dinner, her Dad walks in.
Boy lowers his head ‘n starts praying.

10 min ‘n he is still praying, his head down.
All are surprised.
Girlfriend-” I never knew you are so religious”
Boy-” I never knew your DAD IS A CHEMIST!